Not so surely... Pain is a natural stimulus without which you would probably not be alive. Its biological function is to tell us that something potentially harmful is happening. The automatic response to this is to do something to make the pain stop, and thereby avoid/limit the harm.
We are more than just biological beings, however. We also have minds and we can interpret and perceive pain in different ways and for different reasons.
Should pain always be eliminated? Childbirth is usually a painful experience for the woman (modern medicine notwithstanding) yet no-one would say that childbirth is unnatural. Certainly not heterosexuals!
Many parents will use pain to punish their children, and this may just be out of anger or it may genuinely be an attempt to curb the child's bad behaviour. Whether or not this works is highly debatable, yet it remains socially acceptable so far in our society. If a parent uses pain as a deterent to stop a child doing something that is dangerous I can see the logic in its use. The pain is an instrument of protection - the fundamental motivation being love.
And what of self-inflicted pain? Marathon runners have to conquer physical pain barriers to excel at their vocation. They may be labelled masochistic - even by themselves - but only in jest.
I regularly go into a room with one or several other men and we spend an hour or so inflicting pain and some minor physical damage on each other. No-one calls us sexual perverts, though, because wrestling and martial arts is accepted as coming under the category of sport. Some would even say that the pain and suffering is 'character building' ... In the British Army raw recruits are tested for their mental toughness by 'milling' - they are put into a boxing ring with gloves and told to thump each other to see if they have got what it takes.
Similarly, many tribal cultures have initiation rituals as a rite of passage to adulthood which involves a painful ordeal. The Dinka of southern Sudan use scarification for this purpose. In Western culture tattooing serves a similar function.
In BDSM pain also has a purpose, or rather purposes. It may be perceived by the sub or slave as an adrenaline rush that enhances his sexual pleasure. It may be a way of proving himself, a kind of trial by ordeal. It can also of course be pure punishment, a tool of behaviour modification / attitude adjustment, to make the submissive more submissive. In this way the Top is helping the sub to reach a goal that they both desire.
No pain, no gain!
Hello Sir,
ReplyDeleteI always appreciate your way of writing about BDSM, and I am always glad to read your straightforward, clever and sensitive writing. A beautiful way of saying what you said would be the slogan used by US Marine Recruiting office to get more people to join marines:
'Pain is weakness leaving your body'
Which reminds me one thing I've read once in a profile in Recon, which says that submission and weakness are different things, something with which I agree as well. The urban dictionaire (www.urbandictionary.com) adds an interesting comment on the phrase:
"Pain truly is weakness leaving the body, provided the pain inflicted is small enough that you can handle it and grow from it, emotionally or physically".
Sensitive Masters and Doms, therefore, can use pain as a way of showing their love and sense of protection to their Slaves and Subs...
A Boy from Lancaster