Just to show that I DO have a sensitive side...
I don't do phone sex
I don't do cyber
I just wanna know
If you take it up the khyber
Don't dial my number
Or log onto your computer
Unless it's to arrange
Me porking your tight pooper.
You can call me on my mobile
Or land line if you wish
But please keep it brief, my only relief
Is mounting is your pocket starfish.
No, I won't discuss my sordid life
With a boy in Londonderry
Unless he's hopping on a plane
For me to pop his cherry.
Log in, log out
What's it all about?
"Getting it online"?
I'd rather take my log and stick it
Where the sun don't shine.
I'd love to see your smutty jpegs
And a raunchy profile to link ta
But I need it real, I want to feel
The tightness of your sphincter.
Tap tap tap, blah blah blah
Maybe I sound too cocky?
But it's better, I've found, if you just come round
And be my sausage jockey!
Typing one-handed is fun I suppose
But if you're way over in China
I don't see the point as my knob is six thousand
Miles away from your mangina
Sex over the phone? I'd rather be alone
Today, tonight or tomorrow
I'm destined, I hope, to sow my wild oats
Deep inside your furrow.
I would like a high-speed connection
But not just to chat through the ether
I want a connection that's in the direction
Of something quite tasty beneath ya.
You can stimulate my brain for hours
But it just leaves me bereft
I don't want to probe your secret desires,
I want to probe your cleft.
Limerick:
The once was a guy from Brum,
Whose computer it made him quite glum,
He said "I'll chat till I'm blue,
But what's a guy gotta do
Just to get a bum chum?"
haiku:
July, the grey void -
Technology mocks my keen
Yearning for anus.
Millions are destined to love cybersex
Yes, I'm sure there must be legions
But I'm not interested until my knob's destined
For your nether regions!
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