I didn't say anything, but I thought - Hmm. Maybe now isn't the best time to tell you that it wasn't actually me who cleaned the bathroom so nicely while you were off on holiday, but some naked guy I met off Recon...
A lot of people are faced with this dilemma. They want to be liberal and open-minded about us alternative lifestyle types, but that same liberalism balks at the inherent inequality in Dominant/submissive relationships. It just doesn't compute. Surely equality is one of the great achievements of the modern age, of the evolution of human society? Isn't it taking a backward to step to embrace its opposite?
The answer is that equality is a wonderful thing ... but inequality can also be pretty special, in context.
The truth is, of course we don't really have full equality in all our relationships, even here in the West where we like to congratulate ourselves on our progressiveness. Despite decades of legislation, women are not equal to men economically and bigotry still persists. On a more personal level, we all have unequal relationships. At work I have those who are under me and those who are above me. My working environment would not function without everyone respecting this hierarchy.
What is not discussed quite so freely is the fact that there are many people who do not want equality. Some women are very happy to be housewives and let their husbands be the sole breadwinners. Some people do not want to be promoted at work because they enjoy their job as it is and have no interest in taking on different responsibilities.
Why is it so hard to accept inequality? Probably because there is so much invested in the long, hard struggle for freedom that so many have fought and are still fighting. And at the core of it is something very precious, the concept of individual dignity, worth, rights and life. With human rights abuses continuing all over the world, it would be wrong to be complacent.
However, these two positions are not incompatable. A D/s relationship, as it based upon informed consent, is fundamentally an equal one. A BDSM slave is not literally the property of anyone, he can opt out of his 'ownership' any time he chooses. Though he is inferior in the relationship, this does not mean he is any less of a person generally... nor does it imply that he has a lesser value within the relationship. Many a novice Dominant thinks the best way to court a submissive is to talk down to him, insult him, call him worthless scum, etc., and while there are a few guys who will enjoy that, most subs and slaves do not actually see themselves as worthless, and neither does a good Top. A devoted, committed sub is the exact opposite, he is very much of worth - very precious in fact. Without them us Tops would be a pretty frustrated bunch!
Where the difference comes in is in the roles that people take on at different times and in different situations. At work I am in a position of responsibility and authority. Having dinner with friends I am in a position of equality. I don't become a different person, I just present the appropriate side of myself for the occasion that requires it.
For this reason, political correctness does not belong in the privacy of a D/s relationship. In the hetero kink world there are the Goreans, whose men are alpha males and whose women are treated as sex slaves. I once spoke to a submissive Asian guy who wanted me to play the part of his fantasy abusive racist skinhead. Is it fair to say that these people hate themselves? A bit too much cod psychology, I think. For them, like everyone, equality has a context.
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