Sunday 16 May 2010

Changes

Hello people!

After a long break I have decided to close RopeTop.com. I will transfer the useful articles on there to this blog so that people can still access them.

Galleries will be transferred to http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ropetopgalleries. You will need a Yahoo! account to access this (Make sure you do not use an email address that contains your full name if you do not want this to be public!)

I no longer use my kink profiles, I'm a lot more vanilla these days. You can find me at http://co-tops.blogspot.com

Thanks to everyone who has contributed comments and messages, and to all the fun people I've met. And I have had a lot of fun! I hope you continue to do so too.

xxx

Saturday 15 May 2010

UK Leather/Fetish Venues

BIRMINGHAM
Boltz
The Fountain Inn

BLACKPOOL
Trades Bar

EDINBURGH
The Claremont Bar

BRIGHTON
Hardcore

BRISTOL
Hard
Gear

LINCOLN
Christopher's Bar

MANCHESTER
Alert
Company Bar

NEWCASTLE UPON TYNE

The Cockpit

London Scene

Leather/fetish venues. For more information see John's Leather Guide to London.

London has two permanent leather clubs:

The Hoist (Wednesday-Sunday in Vauxhall, south London), and

Backstreet (Thursday-Sunday in Mile End, east London).

The Eagle in Vauxhall and the Underground Club in Kings Cross, central London, run fetish events on different nights throughout the week.

Monthly events include Hard On (a leather fetish club night in Vauxhall) and Collared (a BDSM night in Kings Cross).

Many 'leather' clubs/events are just leather fetish without bondage/SM play. If you are looking for kink/rope try SM Gays Discovery Nights at The Hoist, or fetish play events such as FetishBound

For a complete listing of gay venues and events in London you can download QX Magazine.

For travel information see the Transport for London website.

Links

ROPE

MENinROPE

Launched in March 2006, MENinROPE.com is a male bondage website brought to you by DogTrainer1974. You will find pictures of men tied in both western bondage and Japanese / Shibari influenced styles, or simply wearing rope. So, if you like your men tied in rope then this is the place for you!

JuST Rope

London's leading Rope Bondage party. JuSTrope.co.uk organise and hold specialist rope bondage play parties and events. Our parties are neither tutorials or workshops although if you enjoy learning by watching its a real education. We aim to provide a comfortable and well equipped play environment and welcome all levels of experience from advanced to those who just want to come along and quietly watch. Previous parties have attracted some of the best rope artists from across the UK and Europe while creating a unique atmosphere that is social, relaxed and welcoming.

ESINEM

The objectives of this site are to
* Attempt to stimulate innovative bondage influenced by traditional Shibari/Kinbaku
* To help newcomers to reach new levels of experience (see Tuition)
* To exchange ideas and information
* To document my journey into learning this skill

Two Knotty Boys

San Francisco-based bondage duo. "Our goal is to demystify bondage and put the fun into it, while making it safer and much more aesthetically pleasing."


BDSM

International Mr Leather 2003

The personal website of the British winner of International Mister Leather 2003. Lots of useful information, including John's Leather Guide to London - an excellent comprehensive and in depth guide to everything bondage, leather and BDSM-related in the capital. Updated weekly. Very useful for visitors.


SM-Top.com

A personal website of an experienced London Top, lots of pictures of his slaves/subs, plus useful information.

PupLoki

A personal website of a dedicated puppy with lots of dog play information and links

SMGays

SM Gays is a not-for-profit social and educational group for gay men interested in consensual, sexual sadomasochism. Meeting since July 1981, its aim is to encourage safe and lawful SM practices through sharing of information among people with similar interests.The group is unfunded and run by volunteers.

Every month the group holds a Discovery Night in Central London where you can learn more about SM techniques and meet other people with similar interests. There is no membership requirement or dress code and the atmosphere is friendly and informal.
At present these events attract around 200 gay men.

Recon

Gay male profiles site which also includes Bondage Control and Slave 4 Master plus many other fetish-based sites under the general Recon umbrella. Once you create a profile in one area (bondage, slave4master, etc.) you can see and talk to everyone else in that category PLUS everyone else in every other category.

Slaveboys

British kinky guys: BDSM & more. A place for guys who like to spend their evenings a little tied up.... Join to meet other guys like you. Includes message board/discussion forums.

The Spanner Trust

The Spanner Trust exists to defend the rights of sadomasochists of all sexual orientations and specifically to reverse the UK court ruling which made certain SM activities illegal even though all parties consent.

backlash

backlash was created in 2005 by the Libertarian Alliance, the Spanner Trust, the Sexual Freedom Coalition, Feminists against Censorship, Ofwatch and Unfettered to collate evidence for an informed debate on censorship and to fight plans to criminalise ownership of material the Home Office finds abhorrent.

Informed Consent

Welcome to Informed Consent, the leading website about BDSM in the UK. (BDSM is an overlapping abbreviation of Bondage & Discipline, Dominance & Submission, and S&M.)

We've been online since 1997, starting with listings, then adding discussion forums, personal ads and weblogs. Most of our sections feature information about both the BDSM and Fetish scenes in the UK.

The site's name was chosen to reflect the useful information we enable people to share, while emphasising the necessity of consent in all aspects of BDSM relationships.

A mixed site (mostly straight kinky people) but very diverse, with lively discussion boards.


FetLife

"FetLife is a FREE Social Network for the BDSM & fetish community. Similar to Facebook and mySpace but run by kinksters like you and me. We think it is more fun that way. Don't you?"

Currently 170,436 Members. The site has profiles and many special interest groups (each with its own forum) including many bondage/rope groups such as Riggers and Rope Sluts (5671 Members) ... see also ManDom UK

Any member can create their own group, so you can form your own online communities of people with shared interests.

LEATHER

MSC London

This web site is for gay and bisexual men who are into leather, rubber, skinheads, uniform, denim and western gear and their associated lifestyles. If this describes you, you are welcome to browse our site and we hope you will want to join us.

ECMC

ECMC is the European Confederation of Motorcycle Clubs and counts over 40 member clubs across Europe specialising in Bike Runs and other social activities aimed primarily at gay men with interests in motorcycles and fetishes for leather & rubber & uniform clothing.

ECMC is the umbrella organisation for various Motor Sports Club (MSC / Gay Bikers) around Europe.

The MSCs are social groups for gay motorcyclists/leathermen. They have been running a long time, the oldest of them dating from the 1960s. They express an interest in leather and uniforms, which may or may not include BDSM, so they are NOT gay BDSM groups as such, though many of their members may be.

Sixty Nine (Motorcycle) Club, London
Manchester Super Chain MSC
MSC Scotland
East Mercia MSC
MSC Bournemouth
Essex Leather MSC

FUKC

The FUKC is an alliance of the UK and Ireland’s non-commercial clubs for gay and bisexual men into leather, motorbikes, rubber, uniforms, denim, skingear and their associated lifestyles. It coordinates the events, parties and activities of the member clubs and acts as a central point for the dissemination of information about their meetings and events. There is no formal constitution or committee. Instead, the clubs meet together annually in June for a social event and conference during which an affiliated club is appointed to hold the secretariat and one of its members to act as coordinator.

BLUF

BLUF is a club for men who enjoy wearing breeches and leather uniforms. The club started on the Internet in 1997 and has now 2000 members. The purpose of these pages is to give you information on our club activities and, more in general, to celebrate the image of men in leather uniforms, boots and breeches. The site contains thousands of pictures of men in boots and leather uniforms, most of which cannot be found anywhere else on the Internet. Becoming a member of BLUF (free of charge!) gives you access to this wealth of hard-core leather pics. Membership is limited to men only. All you need to do, is send in a picture of yourself in full leather uniform.

Reverse Shoulder Harness

This is a variation of the reverse harness, in which no rope at all cross the front of the body, exposing the armpits and leaving the whole torso unobscured.

1

Bind his hands in front of him.

Lift his hands up and behind his head, with the ends of the rope trailing behind him.

2

Take each end forward under the armpit and then back over the shoulder.

3

Tie off at this point with a double knot to prevent tightening.

Place the knot on the upper edge of the shoulder so that it will not lie underneath when the sub lies down.

4

Take each end to the opposite side and loop them over each other.

5

Take each end through the shoulder loops and tie off at this point with the knots on the inside of each arm (not behind)

Shoulder Harness

I developed this as an alternative to the traditional rope harness. I wanted to be able to tie a guy's hands in the middle of his back without any rope crossing the front of the body.

If a guy has a nice torso I like it to be unobscured!

The technique is still fairly simple.

1

Sub stands and crosses his hands behind his back.

Find the midpoint of your rope and tie his wrists at this point.

Pass the free ends of the rope over his shoulders.

2

Pass each end under the armpit and back behind him.

Pull the ends taught so that the wrists are pulled up into the centre of the back.

3

Bind each end around the upper arm near the armpit and tie off with the knot on the inside.

4

Take each end up to the opposite shoulder and tie to the loop that circles the shoulder.

Make sure the knot is on top/slightly in front of the shoulder blade.

This secures the shoulder loops which would otherwise slip down over the arms, and holds the whole arrangement together.

If the rope runs out here, tie off around the shoulder.

If your rope is longer, the ends can be secured to anchor points (eg: bed posts) or used to tie up the lower body.

Reverse Rope Harness

This is a variation on the traditional rope harness in which the same basic steps are simply reversed so that the ropes cross the back instead of in front. This exposes the armpits and leaves the chest unobscured.

1

The sub stands and faces you.

Find the midpoint of your rope and tie his wrists at this point. The length of free rope at both ends should be about equal.

2

Lift his hands up and behind his head, with the ends of the rope trailing behind him.

3

Take the free ends to the centre of the body and wrap around. Tie off at the side of the body.

Rope Harness

The rope harness is a very simple technique for binding the sub's hands behind him and holding them in the centre of his back. This position lifts the bound hands clear of the buttocks, which they would otherwise obstruct.

You will need a medium-length piece of rope, minimum of about 10 feet.

1

The sub stands and faces away from you.

Find the midpoint of your rope and tie his wrists at this point. The length of free rope at both ends should be about equal.

2

Pass each end under over the shoulder so that the ends hang down in front of his chest.

Pull the ends taught so that the wrists are pulled up into the centre of the back.

3

Turn the sub to face you. Cross each end of the rope to the opposite side, creating an X on the chest.

Wrap each end around the waist and tie off at the side of the body.

Rope Bondage Health & Safety

Acknowledgements to slimlthrsub and Esinem

Although rope can be fun, it can also be dangerous. A rope bondage Top has a great responsibility, he must take care not to injure his sub, or indeed endanger his sub's life. The following should be considered:

Rope hazards
Tying/untying
Asphyxiation / Constriction
Standing / Suspension
First Aid
Responsibility
Rope hazards

Be careful with your rope, especially if you have long loops of it pooled on the floor around you. It is easy to trip and fall if the rope gets tangled around the sub's legs, or your own, or (if in public) around those of a spectator/passer-by. Try and keep an eye on where your rope is at all times.

Do not rush. Instruct the sub to remain still when you are tying him in a standing position. He might decide to help you by turning to give you access to his back or front, or lift one foot to allow rope to pass underneath, but is better if he stays in a stable position while you work around him.

Tying/untying

There are several safety points to keep in mind when tying a person up. A simple one is to beware of something I call "whip- eye". This is where you are pulling rope through itself quickly, either whilst tying or untying, and the sub is watching with interest. Suddenly the free end of the rope comes whipping out and smacks the unsuspecting victim in the face. Not good! Slow down, or, if you in a hurry, shield his face with your other hand.

Also, pulling rope fast against skin will cause burns, so slow down. If you are pulling a line of rope under another line with bare skin underneath, pull the upper line away from the skin and then angle the rope you are pulling so that it rubs against the overlying line instead.

Avoid large knots, especially in sensitive areas and particularly if the sub is going to be lying down on them, as this can cause pain or injury.

You may have to untie the person quickly, if he becomes unwell or starts to panic. For this reason, always ensure that the hands are easy to get to in order to free them. If you are using a long piece of rope (more than five metres), do not use this to tie the hands and then the rest of the body, as you will then have to work backwards to untie everything else before you can free his hands. Either (a) tie his hands with a separate, shorter piece of rope, or (b) use the last few metres to tie the hands.

In an emergency, you may have to cut rope off your sub. It is best not to use ordinary scissors or blades to do this, as there is a danger of injuring the person, especially if he is panicking and unable to keep still. A much better option is a safety knife or Safety scissors / EMT sheers.

Asphyxiation / Constriction

The diagram below shows areas to be mindful of when tying. RED areas are particularly dangerous. ORANGE are less dangerous but still warrant care and attention.

DANGER ZONES

1 - NECK! - Be very careful placing rope around this area because of the risk of choking and/or strangulation.

2 - NOSE AND MOUTH! - keep airways clear for breathing

3 - CHEST/ABDOMEN - bindings too tight here will prevent the lungs from inflating

4 - ARMPITS - avoid tight bindings under the armpits or near the top two inches of the inner upper arm, as this will compress the major nerves to the arms (brachial plexus)

5 - OUTER UPPER ARM - about 2/3 of the way from elbow to the shoulder is a vulnerable point for the radial nerve

6 - KNOTCH BELOW BASE OF THUMB - radial nerve

7 - BELOW LITTLE FINGER SIDE OF WRIST - ulnar nerve

8 - HOLLOW OF ELBOW - brachial artery

9 - KNOTCH OF ELBOW - "funny bone", ulnar nerve

Asphyxiation is anything that interrupts the ability to breathe properly and thereby deprives the body of oxygen. Areas to consider are:

1 - NECK! - Anything that constricts the neck risks pressing on the carotid artery, cutting off the flow of blood to the brain (strangulation). It can also compress the trachea (windpipe), cutting off the supply of air to the lungs (choking). Both have the same effect: depriving the brain of oxygen, which can lead to unconsciousness and death. Do not loop or circle rope around the neck unless it is FIRMLY fixed with absolutely no danger of it slipping/tightening.

NEVER lay rope across the front of the neck / throat. If you wrap rope around the head (eg: to make a gag) make sure it does not slip down to the neck.

2 - NOSE AND MOUTH! - Take care with rope that covers the nostrils and/or mouth. Ensure that the sub can breathe through the rope OK. If you use a rope gag DO NOT cover the nostrils with anything.

3 - CHEST/ABDOMEN - If rope is too tight around the chest or stomach it can make breathing difficult, especially if the person is lying face down or bent forward, if it prevents the chest from expanding when the person breathes in (compressive asphyxia).

Also be mindful of this when tying someone face-down, even if there is no rope crossing the chest (ie: hogtied). In this position the sub is lifting a portion of the weight of his upper body when he inhales, and this may be easier for some than for others. If he gets into difficulty and cannot change position he will be in danger of positional asphyxia which has been the cause of death for people who have been restrained by, for example, police and prison officers.

Constriction: Bindings that are too tight will cut off the circulation of blood to body parts and/or damage nerves. Certain body parts are more vulnerable than others because blood vessels and nerves are closer to the surface here (points 4-8).

You can lay rope in these areas without worry as long as the bindings are not too tight. Before finishing a tie insert a finger between the rope and the sub's skin to create a gap, and leave this gap in place when you tie off. Leave enough room for the body part to move slightly within / under the binding.

Avoid using single lines of thin rope, especially in these areas, as they will 'bite' into the skin. The rope should be no less than 4mm in diameter, and using several lines (eg: wrapping the rope around the area several times) will create a more comfortable cuff that distributes the pressure over a larger area, lessening the danger of restriction.

A simple knot may not look or feel too tight at first, but if it slips it may tighten when the person moves. A quick and easy way to stop this from happening is by using a reef knot.

Regardless, you should ALWAYS check for signs of constriction. If circulation is restricted to a body part (such as arms, hands, legs) the skin will look darker and feel colder compared to the rest of the body. Keep checking for these danger signs, especially if the sub is tied up for long periods.

If you tie his hands behind his back and then lie him down on his back for a prolonged period this will put pressure on his arms, again restricting blood flow.

It is also important that the sub understands that he is to report any loss of sensation/numbness that he experiences in any part of his body. Some subs will hesitate to do this, either because they think it is a normal part of the proceedings, or out of masochism. They must be instructed that this is NOT acceptable!

Standing / Suspension, where the sub is held in an upright position for a prolonged period, can also have dangers. If a person remains in a vertical position without moving his legs for more than around thirty minutes there is danger of blood circulation being impaired. This can lead to a variety of problems, some of them serious.

Gravity will cause venous pooling (blood pumped by the heart to the lower body not returning as quickly as it would normally), thus depriving the heart of its normal volume of circulating blood. This reduces pressure in the arteries, and therefore reduces the amount of oxygenated blood reaching the brain, which in turn will lead to fainting. This happens sometimes, for example, with a soldier standing sentry without moving for a long time, and with people wearing parachutes or climbing harnesses who are left hanging following accidents. The medical term for this is orthostatic shock.

Be careful when tying someone in a standing position where their feet/legs are bound, and vertical suspensions.
Look out for the following danger signs:

* Nausea
* Palpitations
* Profuse sweating
* Confusion
* Paleness
* Loss of or greying of vision
* Fainting

Also, if you take the person's pulse and notice a rapid beat followed by a slow beat you should take IMMEDIATE action.

If you notice ANY of the above danger signs:

* 1 - Loosen legs and assist him in moving/flexing/bending them to encourage normal blood flow.
* 2 - Untie completely and sit him down, supported (against a wall or with you holding him up) with his knees drawn up to his chest, his arms around his knees.

DO NOT LIE HIM DOWN FLAT STRAIGHT AWAY - this could be dangerous, as it will cause a sudden return of deoxygenated blood to the heart.

* 3 - Tell him to breathe slowly and deeply, in through the nose and out through the nose and mouth.
* 4 - Give him sips of water
* 5 - Tell him to rest until he feels better.
* 6 - Talk to him to reassure him that he is safe

If he loses consciousness lower him into a sitting position and check his breathing. After a couple of minutes lower him GRADUALLY into the recovery position.

Also with suspension there may be a danger of constriction cutting off circulation if the load is not distributed properly. Another danger is falling if the rope is not strong enough or not secured properly. Be sure you know what you are doing before attempting to suspend someone, this is not something you should try as a beginner until you have gained more experience.

First Aid

A little First Aid knowledge can go a long way. A lot, of course, can go a lot further. Anyone who has the opportunity to go on a First Aid course should do so, as they may well find it makes the difference between life and death. Check for local courses in your area. Your employer maybe be able to fund you to take part. Failing this, get yourself a basic First Aid book and make sure you have some basic supplies near to hand.

Rope bondage by itself should not be hazardous, but you should always be prepared for unsuspected problems.

As with any BDSM play, check with the sub by asking him if he has any medical conditions that you need to be aware of. If he is feeling unwell it is probably not a good idea for him to be tied up. If he has drunk more than a moderate amount of alcohol, or if he has taken any kind of recreational drugs, it is NOT a good idea to continue.

Injuries resulting from bondage are rare, and rarely serious.

ROPE BURNS can be treated with a burn spray or cream. If the skin is broken, wash and apply a dressing.

BRUISES/CUTS may occur if your sub trips and falls. Minor cuts should be washed and dressed. If there is heavier bleeding apply a little pressure to the wound and elevate the body part above the level of the heart.

CRAMPS can be caused by a tightening or contraction of a muscle or group of muscles. Untie and gently stretch/massage the affected area. Cramps can also be caused by dehydration, so give him some water to sip. Don't let him drink too fast, and make sure the water is still, not fizzy.

FAINTING can be caused by many things. A reduction in blood flow to the brain causes a brief loss of consciousness. This could be in response to extreme pain, strong emotion or standing still for a long time in a hot place. Likewise, being held in a fixed upright position, standing or suspended (as detailed above) can have the same effect.

* Signs and symptoms: Feeling weak, faint, giddy, nauseous
* looks very pale.

* What to do: Lay him down and raise his legs above his heart.
(NOTE - If he has been upright for more than twenty minutes sit him down first, then gradually lower him onto his back).
* Loosen any rope and clothing around the neck, chest and waist. Open windows and ask people to stand back so as not to restrict the flow of fresh air.
* Reassure him as he comes round.
* If he does not recover within a few minutes put him into the recovery position and call an ambulance.


RECOVERY POSITION for someone who is conscious and breathing normally:

* Lie the person on his back
* straighten legs
* place the arm nearest to you at a right angle to the body with the palm facing up
* bring the other arm across the body and place the back of his hand against the cheek nearest to you
* with your other hand get hold of the knee furthest from you and pull it up until the foot is flat on the floor
* keep hold of the hand against his cheek to support his head
* pull the bent leg towards you, rolling him onto his side
* pull the top leg up into a bent position

See the British Red Cross YouTube video

Responsibility

A final piece of advice is to not leave a sub alone while restrained for any prolonged length of time. There is no right or wrong time limit, just common sense. Probably nothing will happen but if something does, you really should be there to take control.

The sub's safety is your first responsibility.

See also:
MENinROPE: Health & Safety

MENinROPE: First Aid

Nerve Damage by Esinem

Learn The Rope

There are many different types of bondage, using a variety of materials - tape, straightjackets, handcuffs, leather restraints - but rope is my favourite. Rope itself can be rugged or sensual, or both at the same time. It is a very versatile material which can be used to bind someone in a very simple, practical way or a very complex, attractive way.

Rope is a no-nonsense, non-fussy resource that is relatively cheap and very portable. Its use as a bondage material can present possibilities and challenges that inspire a great deal of creativity.

In human history, rope is probably the earliest material used to restrain people, so it has historical precedent. In feudal Japan it was raised to an art form (hojojutsu, from which has evolved the modern erotic Japanese bondage art nawa shibari).

Today rope bondage in many forms is very popular, both as simple kink and as a form of erotic art. It can be very simple or very complex, and for beginners it is advisable to start small and get some experience with simpler techniques before moving onto the more ambitious creations.

It is also important to remember some basic points on safety at all times. See Rope Bondage Health & Safety

Rope: Buying, Preparation, Storage

You can get rope from a variety of places, and depending on the type and the source, the price can vary a great deal. If you are just starting out you don't need to look too far or spend very much, just get some decent basic stuff. Your nearest hardware store should have what you need.

Make sure it is rope, not string, twine or plastic cord! It should be at least 4mm in diameter (this will be on the label). Either natural or synthetic is OK. Natural rope most often available is jute, which is brown and has a coarse, hairy texture. Cotton rope is very soft and usually a lighter colour. Most synthetic rope you will see on sale is polyester, which comes in a variety of colours and has a smoother texture.

You won't need tons to begin with, but you will need a fair amount. A bundle of ten metres of jute will cost about £5. Get two bundles. Keep one as it is, and cut the other one into two, three or four so that you have pieces of various lengths to play with. It is best to have relatively shorter pieces for tying hands and feet, for instance.

When you cut rope you will be cutting the fibres that it is made of, and the ends will fray. Some people like the look of this, but it can make bondage tricky and erodes the rope, so seal the ends with tape.

For different types of rope go to a chandler's shop or use online suppliers.

There are different ways to store your rope when you are not using it, the best way being so that when you get it out again to play with, you can do so quickly and easily.

What you DON'T want is to start a horny session by pulling out a tangled mass of rope that looks like a big ball of spaghetti, and spending ten minutes sorting it all out.

This is my method:

1 - Tie a loop in the midpoint of the rope. If you want to do something with your rope that looks neat and symmetrical, you will need to find the midpoint. You could mark it with ink, but that spoils the overall look. Find the middle by bringing the two ends together and holding them in one hand, then running your hand down the doubled rope until you reach the other end. Tie a simple loop here, not too tight.

2 - Double up the rope. Bring the trailing ends up to the midpoint loop and hold them and the loop in one hand. Let the rest dangle loose.

3 - Double up again. Repeat this process until you have a thick bundle of rope with the midpoint loop at the top.

4 - Knot the whole rope. Tie the whole thing in a simple knot and pull it just tight enough that it won't slip.

You now have an easy to store, easy to find bundle that will be ready to use in seconds. To use, undo the big knot and hold the midpoint loop. Let the rest of the rope fall to the ground. (If the rope is very long, and you have enough room, hold onto the midpoint loop and throw the rest of it away from you.) It will fall loose and untangled. Then undo the midpoint loop and you are ready to go.

Binding Hands: Wrap

There are many different ways to tie someone's hands together, but the best way is to do so is in a way that is safe, simple and as easy for YOU to undo as quickly as possible. For this, the basic wrap is a good method:

Place the sub's hands in front of him, palms facing, a few inches apart.

Take a medium-length piece of rope and drape it over the wrists, with the midpoint of the rope between the wrists.

Wrap both ends of the rope around the wrists a few times, forming a large loop, preferably without crossing the lines.

Using several lines to form the loop helps distribute the width of the rope lying on the skin so that it 'bites' less. (You can speed this process up by doubling the rope at the beginning, as in the picture above)

Keep the distance between the hands. There will be plenty of space in between them.
When you have about ten inches of trailing ends left, wrap them around the loop several times, starting in the middle and working outwards. Continue until you have closed the loop, but not so tight that the rope meets the wrists.

Keep a space of one width of your finger between the rope and the skin.
Tie off in the middle with a reef knot - left over right, then right over left.

Check to make sure that the loop has not tightened, you want the sub to able to move his hands around within the rope, but not pull them out. This will ensure that circulation is not restricted. It should feel comfortable for him.

Binding Hands: Shackle

The above technique can be used to tie hands behind the back if the arms are parrallel, but is difficult if the wrists are crossed as there is very little space between them. The shackle is better:

Wrap the rope around both wrists together several times.

Pass one of the free ends under all the lines and out the other side.
Now do the same with the other free end, in the opposite direction.
Tie off in the middle with a reef knot - left over right, then right over left.
Check to make sure that the shackle is comfortable and not too tight.

The shackle can also be used to tie hands in front of the body with wrists crossed.


Rope Harness Techniques

These are methods for binding the arms behind the torso:

Rope Harness

Reverse Rope Harness

Shoulder Harness

Reverse Shoulder Harness


Resources

Different types of rope have different properties. Both natural and synthetic rope can be used for bondage. For a good guide to all the different types available, go to ESINEM.com and Click on "Rope".

A good book to get you started is Showing You the Ropes by Two Knotty Boys, currently about £7 from Amazon. It is a a step-by-step guide to knots and techniques, with lots of easy to follow photographs.

The best way to learn anything is from other people. In the Links section you will find websites and organisations where you can talk to bondage/BDSM people, most of whom are very happy to answer questions from newbies.

Introduction to BDSM

If you are new to all this, a little introduction may be useful.

BDSM is the term most often used nowadays to refer to sexuality that involves power, domination, pain, bondage, roleplay and fetishes.

It includes SM (or "S&M"); sadomasochism = sexuality involving the enjoyment of inflicting and/or receiving pain. However, there are many similar forms of sexuality that have elements in common with SM but do not necessarily involve physical pain, and so the term BDSM is a more all-encompassing term that includes Bondage / Discipline / Domination / Submission / Sadism / Masochism.

This distinction is important because bondage, for example, is a fetish which with many people does not involve pain.

Leather clothing and paraphenalia have long been associated with S&M, and traditionally (circa 1960s-1980s) gay men in the US and Europe with an interest in SM were always identified with leathermen (men wearing "full leather" - usually motorcycle leathers - as immortalised in the artwork of Tom of Finland). However, a fetish for leather is a separate form of sexuality to SM. You can, and do, have one without the other.

People are classified according to their inclination. The dominant partner is called a Dominant - Dom for short (or Domme if female) and the submissive partner is called a submissive or sub. Traditionally the former is capitalised, the latter is not. More specifically, "Masters" and "slaves" refer to relationships in which the domination and submission extends beyond sexual roleplay and becomes the basis for a structured arrangement in which one partner consents to become the "property" of the other.

Relationships in which one partner dominates the other are therefore referred to generally as D/s (Dom/sub) or more specifically as M/s (Master or Mistress/slave).

Definitions and interpretations will vary from person to person. There is no central authority on BDSM, no tablets of stone. There are traditions but there are also new developments coming along all the time. What is relevant is what works for the individuals concerned.

A person who enjoys dominating and submitting at different times and/or with different people is called a switch.

The term vanilla is used by BDSM people to refer to non-BDSM sexuality ("normal sex").

This is just the tip of the iceberg! For more detailed information see the Wikipedia article: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bdsm, and the Xeromag FAQ page http://www.xeromag.com/fvbdsm.html and glossary www.xeromag.com/fvbdglossary.html

My Advice for Novice Doms may also be worth a read.

Leathermen
Leathermen are part of a long proud tradition originating in the USA in the mid-20th century. The culture is credited to have grown out of post-World War II biker culture in the 1940s, and early gay leather bars were subcultural versions of the motorcycle club.

The significance of leather culture to gay men at the time was a major innovation in male homosexual identity. Prior to the advent of leather there were no masculine role models. What little gay community did exist was often centered around people associated with the theatre, in particular female impersonators (the first drag queens). This alienated the majority of gay men, who did not share these interests or feminine characteristics. To them, leather was a revelation: gay men who dressed and acted like men was a breath of fresh air.

To a large extent, an interest in leather represents a fetish for masculinity, and for many men this is as far as it goes. A guy who is "into leather" may or may not be into BDSM, he may just enjoy the look and feel of the clothing and gear. The same is true in Britain for clones, bears and skinheads, who in the 1980s emerged as further masculine gay subcultures. Other "gear" fetishes include rubber, denim and uniforms.

Historically, however, leathermen have been the main representatives of gay BDSM culture in the USA and Europe and they are still its most visible symbols. Today leather is often used as a signifier of an interest or involvement in BDSM, and is often used as a shorthand for gay BDSM. Most gay fetish clubs include all of the above as variations on the theme of masculine kink.

Leather/BDSM newbies are advised to read John Pendal's "My First Night in a Leather Bar" - http://www.iml2003.com/beef1.htm

Masters and slaves

BDSM ownership is a mutually consensual arrangement between two (or more) people, in which one surrenders power to the other and becomes his "property". The slave then serves the Master, obeying his orders and carrying out duties under his Master's direction.

This resembles a Dominant/submissive roleplay but goes further, beyond sex and kink and into the wider lifestyle. Ownership is considered to be indefinite, depending upon the rules agreed in advance by both parties. The degree of control varies, the most extreme being the Total Power Exchange (TPE) in which the Master controls every aspect of the slave's life.

Unlike real slavery, in which the victim has no choice, a BDSM slave is voluntarily surrendering power to someone that he wants to serve as completely as possible. The "ownership" is of course not legally binding, but is a mutual committment between the two partners involved.

The relationship ends at the Master's discretion, though the slave also has the power to end the relationship if his failure to obey commands results in the ultimate punishment: dismissal from service.

Today there are variations on the terminology of the roles, the Dominant partner can be called a Dom, a Master, Boss, an Owner, or a Dogtrainer, etc.; the submissive partner can be called a slave, sub, boy or "boi" (who may be older than the Dom), a dog or dogslave, puppy or pup, etc., depending on the characteristics of the individuals concerned.

Traditionally the Master would be a leatherman, but today the Dominant partner can be a skinhead, a daddy bear, or anything. Neither partner has to conform to any mode of dress or behaviour, they can make up their own rules and rituals.

Often the relationship is formalised with the signing of a contract that sets out the rules and responsibilities of the Dominant and submissive.

In many cases the Master gives his slave a symbol to wear that denotes his ownership, usually a collar or a padlocked chain.

Relationship patterns can vary. The Master and slave may be a monogamous couple or they may have an open relationship. Either one may already be in a non-BDSM open relationship, to which the BDSM relationship is an added extra. The Master may have more than one slave or sub (a stable), and his first slave (alpha slave) may have dominance over the secondary slaves. Casual encounters with other Dominants and submissives may be allowed.

The Master may a have partner who is sexually submissive but does not want to commit to a structured M/s relationship and is therefore known simply as a sub. The Master may have a committed slave or slaves and also have subs with whom he plays.