Saturday 28 November 2009

Dark Interrogation



Pictures from a photo session by d9009



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Wednesday 18 November 2009

First Aid Checklist - The QUICK Reference Guide



The latest addition to the Resources section of my site is the First Aid Checklist - The QUICK Reference Guide ...

For a long time now I've been thinking about First aid, and how there are so many things that can go wrong with a person. If you don't know the individual, you may not know the cause of their illness. Making a diagnosis from observed signs and symptoms is difficult because you would have to memorise them all in relation to specific conditions.

What I have done is taken a list of common conditions that may not have an obvious cause - ie: diabetes, shock, stroke, etc. - and listed the signs and symptoms of all of them, cross-referencing each one back to the conditions they indicate. All you have to do is look up each sign and it will tell you which condition it is common to. By then checking the other signs of that condition, you can determine what the problem is likely to be. The document then gives you a brief on what to do in that situation.

The webpage is all hyperlinked, of course, and there is also a printable PDF version. I think a lot of people will find it useful, certainly in BDSM situations: for example, I didn't know cramp was a symptom of dehydration. Think of a long bondage session, both Dom and sub zoned out in their respective headspaces, losing all track of time. The sub gets cramps and the Dom assumes it is just from the ropes...

I think people will find it useful in a LOT of situations...

Many thanks to slimlthrsub for his medical advice.



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Monday 16 November 2009

Protection



There was a thread on slaveboys recently in which a guy with the word 'master' in his profile name said he was having a visit from a slave. He said he would tie the guy to a bed and was inviting tops to come round and fuck him bareback.

There was a heated discussion about safety and responsibility. The slave in question was happy to be fucked with or without protection, and in the 'Master's opinion this abrogated him from all responsibility in the matter. It raises the question: Who has overall responsibility in a BDSM scene? If the sub has agreed to an activity which puts his health at risk, is it the place of the Dom to impose his own limits on the scene?

There are different ways of looking at this. On the one hand, all participants in BDSM should be consenting adults of sound mind. Both Dom and sub are ultimately responsible for their own actions and choices. One could say that it is patronising to suggest that the sub is in need of coddling. However, a Master has control of the scene and if he chooses to impose health and safety limits the slave has to comply.

This then raises the question – Does the Dom have a duty to impose more stringent limits than a reckless sub? Legal implications aside, if the sub is risking his health is it right for the Dom to allow that to happen? Some might say - well, the sub will just find a Dom who will co-operate in his risky kink, the Dom cannot actually stop as free agent from having his fun one way or another. In this case the real question is one of conscience. Is the Dom willing to be a part of a scene in which the person he has bound and helpless is likely to suffer serious damage to his health? Does he consider this to be a fair trade for the good time he is going to have?

Of course, it depends on the individual. To some guys a casual encounter, kink or vanilla, is a disposable commodity, and so is the other person. They don't care about consequences, at least not for anyone but themselves. But if you are going to call yourself a Master doesn't that oblige you to take on at least a modicum of the decency and competence that the role implies?

Maybe not. Maybe it's all a bit pompous for Masters to take it all so grimly seriously. Maybe we're all just equals having fun and shouldn't get up our own arses so much. OK, but it's not just a question of personal integrity, it also has implications for your reputation.

People talk. What do you want them to say about you?

Yeah, he's a great Master. Knows his stuff! And he really made me feel safe and protected. I was so relaxed and I really let myself go. I had a great time with him. You should give him a go!

… or …

Yeah, he did all the stuff I asked for. I'm not so sure it was a good idea now, though. I shouldn't have taken it that far, really. He didn't say anything, though, he let it happen. Not his fault, it was all my idea. And I suppose he had a good time.

There was another thread in which Masters were accused of bigging themselves up just for discussing the ideal characteristics of their role. Sure, there is a line between reckless hedonism at one extreme and nerdy self-aggrandisement at the other, but that only leaves the final question – When it comes to taking on the role of the one who is in control, where do YOU draw your own personal line? And on which side of that line is the safety of the person who is putting his trust in you?




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