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Surrender

Something wonderful happened on Friday.

But let me backtrack a bit. This has made me think about a lot of things.

Back in March I went to JustRope. For those of you unfamiliar with JR, it is a rope bondage event held in a great private club with excellent facilities. It's very popular and well attended by riggers and bunnies, beginners right through to advanced, and is not just a great play event but also a great social.

And it's not a gay thing. It's organised by, and mainly attended by the 'mainstream' BDSM community, whom I hesitate to refer to as 'straight kinksters' as that would be an inaccurate description (and anyway “straight & kinky” sounds like an oxymoron). Nevertheless, there is a difference – and a bit of a gulf - between 'them' and 'us'.

At one end of the spectrum you have hetero BDSM folk and at the other end BDSM gay men. Inbetween, of course, there are bisexuals/bi-curious/'heteroflexible' people, mostly women, and they – not surprisingly! – fit in just fine among the kinky straight guys. Some full-on lesbians also mingle in these circles, though not so many. Full-on gay men are even more rare.

Which is a shame, if for no other reason than the fact that us gay guys don't really have our version of the larger BDSM community, not to the same extent. One straight kinky guy asked me recently about “the gay SM scene” and I had to say – Well, we don't really have one. What we have is the leather scene, which isn't quite the same thing. The leather scene, at its heart, is kinky as feck, but in practice it is so widely-encompassing of gay male sexuality as to be dilute, attracting legions of vanilla guys who think leather looks horny.

Leathermen have always been the traditional gatekeepers of gay male SM and we owe them a lot for establishing the foundations. Unfortunately, however, a gay man in full leather is not always what you might hope him to be. The leather scene is, to some extent, a victim of its own popularity.

The spirit of the Old Guard does live on, though, and always will, even though leathermen have evolved somewhat, being less rigidly stereotypical than in the Good Old Days. And of course there are many BDSM gay men who are not leather. I'm not, not really. I like to wear a bit when I feel a sense of occasion, but I'm really just dipping my toe in the water. And I doubt I'll ever own a motorbike!

We have gay BDSM organisations and institutions that are very well-established and popular, which overlap nicely with kinky leather guys, but they are few and far between, particularly in the UK. We don't have the massive community involvement that exists on the mainstream BDSM scene with all its club nights, workshops, munches...

Obviously a big reason for this is that – hello! - we are a minority. There are a lot fewer of US than there are of THEM. It may not seem that way if you live in a big city with tons of gay men crawling out of the woodwork as soon as the sun goes down, but it's true. And kink is another minority, so kinky gay men are a tiny fraction of humanity. Which sounds a bit depressing but don't worry, there are still millions of us! (Phew!)

But why the big gulf between gay men and everyone else when it comes to kink? We can't blame it all on homophobia/heterosexism (now there's a word I haven't used for about a decade!)... your average kinky heterosexual is, hardly surprisingly, more open-minded regarding sexuality than Mr & Mrs Cosy Vanilla Respectability.

There is also the factor of traditional gay male reticence around straight men. Yes, I'm generalising, but it's there. Out and proud as many of us are, most of us remember what it was like growing up scared, and if there was queer bashing to be done it would usually be the straight boys who were up for it... But before I burst into a rendition of Small Town Boy I must say that the world does feel a lot different today than it did in 1984! Nevertheless, some things linger, and at the back of my mind there's always the notion that hetties don't want to hear the nitty gritty of my private life.

After coming out at the tender age of seventeen I made lots of new gay friends and over the years they became practically my only friends. Obviously I was meeting hetties at work and got on fine with most of them without having to hide my sexuality, but I never had a close friendship with a straight guy. These barriers are all in our heads but that doesn't make them any less real.

What I did have during my late teens/early twenties was lots of lesbian friends. This was due to my community work and the fact that, of the two gay clubs in Birmingham at the time, one had a misogynist door policy so I boycotted the place. And I certainly felt more comfortable with dykes than I did with the straight boys. I felt I had more in common with them. Also, I had been to a few gay pubs where there were no women at all, and it felt weird. I didn't want to be part of an all-male space, it felt elitist and insecure.

By my thirties, though, I was leaving the lesbians behind too. I had less time for the lesbian and gay community and focussed more on my bondage interests, which inevitably meant meeting more and more gay men. Diversity was the first victim of my kinky nature.

Sometimes opening one door will close others.

I was also getting more involved in martial arts, and discovering, albeit late, that male bonding (of the totally non-euphemistic kind!) was something I could do and did enjoy. Also, I started working in security and spending long hours with straight, mostly male, colleagues. If you've ever worked in security you'll know it consists of huge chunks of time sitting on your arse talking bollocks to the bloke you're working with. I felt myself drifting a little, less interested in the mainstream/vanilla gay community.

Early last year one of my funbuddies/play subs invited me to go to Hard On with him. I went along, having read the publicity about it being a mixed BDSM club and curious to see the kinky lesbians, straights and whatever else. I thought – Wow, this is me checking out the REAL kink scene, moving out of my comfort zone, touching base, keeping it real, getting radical and adventurous...

Well, it was nice but it wasn't what I was expecting. 99% gay men, all in fetish gear but only interested in one thing: vanilla sex (unless you include fisting as a kink). It was great fun, but not what I was hoping it would be.

A little later I was contacted on Recon by DogTrainer1974 who was organising his Men Only Rope Event (MORE). It was a very successful day, held in a great venue... a venue I was later to discover was also used for JustRope, Peer Rope and a very popular 'straight' kinky club night.

Which brings me back, eventually, to March's JustRope. I went along with my trusty bunny expecting to meet DT and some other gay mates there but they all had to cancel. We faced the rather nerve-wracking prospect of being the only gay men at the event, surrounded by people who were nice enough, but mostly strangers. No great disaster, but it made me feel a bit awkward. I need not have worried, though, because a very extrovert guy going by the name of Michael Cane took it upon himself to introduce himself to everyone and make us all feel more relaxed.

Surrender was Michael's idea.

What is Surrender?

“Surrender is a members club and runs the club night specifically for BDSM for gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, transsexuals, transvestites and any other variations on these themes. All are welcome. There is a lack of proper BDSM playing facilities and events specifically for those who don't want to feel judged or out of place in your typical BDSM club.”

This from a straight guy!!!

I liked the idea and got involved, not exactly sure how it would work having all those different types of people together, but wanting it to work nevertheless. Other people shared my concerns, many doubting that it would be a viable mix. But I thought - If it did succeed... wouldn't that be great?

With the help of a feisty young dyke we started putting the word out. I organised a bit of advertising. My concerns lingered until the last few days leading up to the launch, when indications start to come in that, actually, this might turn out to be more successful than we had been hoping.

Then last Friday the night finally arrived … and so did a steady trickle of revellers. We went from apprehension to contentment once a comfortable number had gathered and started mingling and buzzing. Contentment soon became joy when people just kept on arriving.

In no time the night was in full swing and we had a huge varied mix of people. It was just what we had wanted: gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, transfolk and straights all having fun together. With so many colourful characters and so many different activities going on it was a spectacular evening.

Our baby had been born and it came out kicking!

Surrender is now a monthly event, the penultimate Friday of every month. Kinksters of all sexualities are welcome. I really don't think there is anything quite like it going on at the moment, certainly not in the UK. It feels so good to be with a diverse mix of people who all have an interest in BDSM in common. I feel that lots of barriers were broken down that night, and new friendships made.

It has also given me a renewed enthusiasm for my own BDSM identity. Being kinky isn't always easy and sometimes you have doubts, but I can see a whole lot of possibilities now.

Watch this space, folks...

The Baron's Stable - Part 12

Time dragged.

The anticipation in the air was like electricity. Baron Michael and Lady Alicia ate their meal leisurely, followed by dessert and more wine, all the while enjoying the mixture of terror and excitement that was obviously tormenting poor Steve.

The Lady shared a joke with the Baron and sipped her wine. Then she turned to Steve, fixing him with her steely gaze. “Would you like some wine, Steve?”

“Not while I am on duty, Ma'am.”

“Your employer has loaned you to me for the present time, young man. I make the rules now.”

Steve frowned and looked to the Baron, who smiled and shrugged.

“Just a little tipple, I don't want you getting drowsy on me.”

“Yes, Ma'am. Thank you.”

She extended one thigh-length red leather boot towards him and pointed her toe in his direction. She then extended the arm holding the wine glass and slowly poured the wine onto the toe of her boot and up towards her thigh.

“There you go, boy.”

“Yes, Ma'am.” Steve got down onto his hands and knees and crawled over towards her. Sticking out his tongue, he began to lick the wine from her boot, following every dribble and drip, his mouth slowly travelling higher until his head was almost in the Lady's crotch.

She stroked and patted his head, stroking his handsome face. “Good boy. Now stand up and follow Jerome.”

Her white rubber-clad servant appeared and led Steve away from the table towards a large open cage a few feet away. Leather cuffs were already in place there. Jerome positioned Steve against the bars, spread eagling him and fixing his wrists in place. Mick could not see Steve's face, only his broad, smooth, muscular back, but he could see the tension in the young man's body.

Lady Alicia stood and slowly walked over. Her high-heel boots made a loud CLOP-CLOP sound as she covered the short distance. She reached up and ran her fingernails down Steve's back, making him jump, then shudder. “Beautiful skin. Truly, Michael, you have impeccable taste, even when it comes to your bodyguards.”

“If you say so, my dear!”

She leaned forward and spoke softly into Steve's ear. “Be brave for me. Your reward will be sweet.”

Steve swallowed and said “Yes, Ma'am.” His voice was hoarse with fear. Just visibly, he was trembling. She kissed his ear, then bit it, gently at first. After a few seconds Steve's eyes closed and he grunted in pain.

Laughing, she walked away from him and took the bull whip from her belt. It was made entirely of wound leather, red and black, and the coils fell to the floor at her side. She extended her arm to her side and took another step back.

Her arm moved like lightning. Mick barely registered the movement before he heard the CRACK as it connected with its target. Steve cried out, jerking against his restraints. His body had gone rigid, shaking with the aftershock. A thin red line lay diagonally across his back, the muscles all standing out starkly.

CRACK! The second strike landed, and once again Steve jumped, all his muscles tensing, but this time he managed to hold in his cry and only a muffled groan escaped him.

CRACK! Again she struck, the thin leather uncoiling and hitting the exposed skin like the tongue of some demonic beast, drawing another strangled sound from behind the victim's gritted teeth.

The fourth blow drew a choking gasp, Steve's body convulsing involuntarily. The fifth made him go rigid as a statue, trembling almost imperceptibly. He started gasping rapidly, fighting for breath before the sixth blow landed, wringing a strangled moan from him.

She struck a seventh time and he arched his back as if welcoming the sting, his arms spread as wide as the shackles would allow, his fingers splayed. His grunt of pain was low and loud.

Alicia stood still, the coil of leather lying on the floor in a twisting curl. Steve sagged against the bars of the cage, breathing heavily. Seven red lines marked his back, angry welts that were starting to glow against his skin. Mick saw a few tiny beads of blood dotting some of the lines.

The Lady wound up her whip and reattached it to her belt. She held out her hand and Jerome brought her a glass of wine. She sipped it as she approached the shaking man tied to the cage. “Well done, my brave young hero.” she said, stroking his arm and side. Holding the wine glass high, she tipped it so that the ice-cold wine fell between Steve's shoulder blades, running down the furrow of his back, across the welts. He shuddered, shaking hard as if going into a seizure.

Alicia handed the wine glass back to Jerome. He replaced it on the table and took the candlestick from the centre of the table, passing it to his Lady carefully so as not to extinguish the flame.

Mick glanced at the Baron. He was watching everything with a calm, relaxed smile. The boys at his feet were mesmerised. Young Jamie's eyes were glowing, his mouth slack, his cock hard against his stomach. Mick wondered if he had noticed, and then realised that he also had an erection himself. It strained against the leather trousers.

The Lady took Steve's chin with her other hand and turned his head towards her, kissing him passionately. She then raised the candlestick and slowly tipped it so that the hot wax fell onto his tortured flesh.

Steve shuddered again, his grunts of pain muffled by the Lady's kiss. His body spasmed as the burning drops rained down upon him, jerking like puppet. His hands gripped the bars for stability as his legs trembled.

Finishing, the Lady handed the candlestick back to Jerome, who returned it to the table. He poured her another glass of wine and she sipped it as she watched her victim grip the cage and shake.

Baron Michael clapped. “Bravo, ma cherie. Satisfied now? Or do you need to totally incapacitate the poor young man to the point where he is not fit for duty?”

Alicia laughed. “I am satisfied, Michael. I don't want to leave you a man short. Though I'm sure this one could easily carry him home for you.” She nodded towards Mick.

Mick smiled proudly.

“Oh, I've no doubt he could. Mick is strong as an ox. I would like Steve to leave here on his feet, though, as he came in. Appearances, you know?”

She curtsied gracefully. “As you wish, My Lord! Jerome, let him down.”

“Help him, Jamie.” the Baron ordered.

“Yes, Sir!” Jamie leapt to his feet and rushed over to Steve's sagging form. As Jerome released the shackles Jamie held onto Steve's waist, helping to keep him upright. Steve's arms dropped limply to his sides and he took a step back away from the cage. Jerome brought him a chair and Jamie guided him to it. Steve sat on it reversed, his muscular arms hanging over the back.

Young Jamie stood at Steve's side, stroking his hair and gazing into his eyes with wonder. Steve smiled up at him wearily and began stroking the boy's thigh. Jamie chuckled as Steve tickled his testicles, embarrassed by his erection. They spoke quietly to each other and started kissing.

The Lady smiled, raising her glass in a toast. “Now that, my dear Michael, is truly romantic!”

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