They are now advertising 'Valentine Savings' at HardSexToys.com
There's a sweet picture of two muscly guys holding hands as the products whoosh into view. The first one?
A chastity device.
Nothing says 'I love you!' more than a small complex plastic contraption designed to stop you getting a lob on...
It isn't just sex that is fascinating in the BDSM world, love can be a many-splendoured thing too, and very often just as unconventional.
I know of monogamous D/s couples and also a wide sample of different variations. The popular model is a Master with a number of slaves, and this sometimes raises the question of how this compares to a 'normal' loving relationship. Can you love - and be IN love - with more than one person at a time? Can you love someone who has other sexual partners?
From what I have seen, I know that these kinds of relationships can definitely go beyond mere lust. Strong emotional attachments are not confined to one-on-one. Love can exist outside the conventional model. Polyamory (with or without kink) has always been around and is more common than people think. It can be the case that a person has different needs (sexual or otherwise) that are fulfilled by different partners, or they are simply open to building emotional bonds with more than one person.
People will inevitably ask - But is it the same as a 1-on-1? Is it as good? Is it as deep? It's impossible to answer this question without knowing what criteria you want to use. Longevity? I know some very long-term open relationships. I don't know how you compare the quality of different varieties of love. Do the people involved care for each other? Do they look after each other, depend on each other? If the answer is "yes" I can't see how it can be broken down into degrees of "yes".
Most objectors will say that an exclusive relationship is more intense, and this may well be true in many cases. However, even in a great mono do the two parties spend ALL their free time together? Or do they need time apart, to avoid feeling suffocated? Time with their friends? I think that this is where the possibility for poly comes in. Loving a second partner might even keep the first love fresh by giving it room and providing perspective. Some people only have enough love/time/energy for one partner, others seem to have an abundance.
We then have the question - If a Master has several slaves, how do the slaves get on with each other? From the Master's point of view, he does not care as long as they do not let it get in the way of their submission to him. If they feel any kind of jealousy they should put it aside and concentrate on pleasing their common Dominant. That's the official line; in reality of course it does matter, and it is much better in a committed set-up if the submissives work well together and feel comfortable with each other. One committed boy of mine referred to my other boy as his "brother sub" which I thought was kind of sweet. They don't have to be best buddies, and they certainly don't have to be in love with each other, but a nice, easy familiarity is conducive to a smooth working relationship, I reckon!
Love is as versatile and varied as people themselves. The romantic ideal is just one expression, and not everyone is seeking the same ideal. Some people are too independent. Nevertheless there are shades of grey between emotionless lust and smitten soul mates. Different isn't always wrong, even if it is too different for Mr & Mrs Average to imagine.
Nicely said, Sir: "The heart is a mansion with many rooms"
ReplyDeletei am in a long term, deeply committed and emotional relationship of nearly 20 years - which has been open for 15 years, yet mostly non-sexual for 5 years. But i am also the devoted and committed pup to my dog-Handler - who is also a good friend of my Partner (and whose own partner is a friend of ours too).
i come from a family of 7, but my partner has only one sister - could anyone say that i love any of my family less than he does, simply because there are more of them for my love to go around...?